50 Days to Go

How can it be only 50 days until my due date? I just don’t know where the time went! I’m so glad I’ve been conscious of trying to savor as much of this as possible, and I’m overjoyed at how largely pleasant the pregnancy experience has been. How lucky, really.

My days now look a little something like this:

Every third day I can sleep through the night without having to pee at 3am or waking with aching hips. Lying only on my left side is hard work!

My fingers have that early-morning “I can’t move them properly” feeling all day long.

I have the feet of Barney Rubble (though I still benefit from clearly indicated ankles).

I get winded when I talk too much (Daddy is happy about this one, I think) never mind when I climb the stairs or go for a walk.

My irritability and impatience has been largely replaced by crying. Happy tears, sad tears, scared tears. I’ve stopped wearing mascara.

I can no longer re-purpose my own clothes for maternity wear.

Baby kicks can now be spotted from across the room, and it’s getting really Ridley Scott in my belly.

While the girls were folding the laundry the other day I overheard A say this: “These undies must be Mama C’s because they are GINORMOUS!!”

I am so, so anxious about EVERYTHING except for birthing this child and caring for an infant. This has resulted in an epic plan for purging our basement, incessant spread sheets and docs with to-do lists and plans of attack for almost every facet of life, and lots of tears (see above). My belief is that if I put it all “out there” now and try to exorcise these worries, then my subconscious and conscious life anxiety won’t clamp my cervix shut on the big day. At this rate, I’ll be birthing the child alone because I’m pretty sure I’m driving everyone else nuts.

I no longer care about missing out on what’s happening with my first baby (my theatre company) for a couple of months. I went from crying over having to step down and miss out on a show to choosing to miss two shows to relax and enjoy my early days of baby love.

Meeting this little man seems like it will be the greatest moment of my life, and that prospect can cheer me out of almost any state. A tall glass of carbonated water over ice also seems to be a serious mood enhancer, and now that I’ve typed that I can think of nothing else…

In other news, the morning glories I started from seed have taken over our garden. Nothing I’ve grown from seed has ever worked, and I’m so thrilled with these happy little flowers at the start of each day. They bloom in the morning and then they are done, replaced by new blooms the next day it seems. A short life to be sure, but such an impact – they make at least five people smi every morning.

Day Six: Discovery Cove

Our last full day in Orlando was an early start. We were all really excited about exploring Discovery Cove, which would have never made our radar without the help of one of the moms from school who tipped us off. This particular park is an all-inclusive day resort that is a man-made lagoon, beach, and salt water pool. We’d be snorkeling and floating, and swimming with sea creatures and otters. Pretty exciting stuff!

Unfortunately, Mama S couldn’t really snap many photos at this particular place, so you’ll have to rely on my descriptions and some images I lifted from the Internet.

The entrance to the place looked like a tropical paradise. The vegetation in Florida is so unlike anything we have here. It was easy to fantasize about the kind of awesome garden we’d have in such a place. Bamboo grew tall, palm trees and cyprus made a lush canopy, and there were brilliantly-coloured blooms to behold everywhere.

After we made our way through a very warm and friendly registration, we had breakfast. The food was cafeteria-style and we quickly realized that it would only serve as fuel for us. It was palatable, but nothing to write about. With full tummies, we moved from the breakfast place to the tropical aviary.

The aviary hosted a beautiful assortment of birds, many of whom were quite used to people feeding them with the little cups of diced fruit and seed available. They had no qualms about landing on your head or arms, and the friendliest birds were about the size of our pigeons and seagulls. It was pretty amusing to watch the kids react in both delight and fear in response to all of their new friends, and we all managed to avoid getting pooped on.

After a little tour through the aviary, we found some lockers and gathered our swimming/snorkeling gear. We were advised to use wet suits because the water in the salt water pool was quite cool (for the creatures that live there) and because all guests had to have a wetsuit or a vest on, but of course nobody makes maternity wet suits. Daddy and I opted for the vests, which were pleasantly stretchy. Wandering around looking for the entrance to the salt water pool in the blazing heat wearing wet suits really made us look forward to that extra cool water.

I’m not the strongest swimmer, and my big belly was definitely making me less buoyant, so I grabbed a life jacket for myself and A. The girls splashed into the water ahead of us, and quickly began shrieking with the cold. Then A stopped in her tracks. There were creatures everywhere! The rays that they stocked the pool with were much, much bigger than what we saw at SeaWorld. In fact, I think once the stingrays get too big for the SeaWorld pool they graduate to Discovery Cove. Some of the rays were about four feet wide. A was a bit terrified I think – both of the deep water, and all of the creatures in the pool. Swimming with the animals is one thing in theory and something quite different in practice. Even I was just a little bit nervous, and had insisted on a mission to find water shoes at the local Walmart lest I step on anything icky or painful. A objected violently (and loudly) to Daddy’s attempts at convincing her to swim with him, but Mama S was able to be the voice of reason. It took nearly half an hour of convincing, while the rest of us snorkeled about, but soon A joined our party secure on Mama’s back.

Snorkeling with a life jacket and a large pregnant belly is possibly the most ungraceful thing I’ve ever attempted. Also, I think everyone else in the pool was getting used to snorkeling because they kept crashing into me. It felt quite crowded in the pool, despite the fact that the park only allows 1,000 people per day. I took my time though, and took lots of breaks. The underwater world is such a marvel. It felt so peaceful and serene, and it was quite humbling to take in all of the colour and beauty that nature yields.

After a bit of solo exploration, we all decided to go on a little adventure together. We snorkeled about the cove, A clinging tightly to Mama S, and we approached an area under a bridge where as I got closer, I could see about 30 sharks hanging around near the sandy bottom. Sharks! I popped my head out of the water and grabbed Daddy, who had arrived at this spot moments before me and was now laughing his head off at me. He took my hand and placed it against the thick and very clear glass wall separating us from them as he continued to laugh. Of course they wouldn’t let people swim with sharks. Holy liability suit! It did scare the bejesus out of me for a moment though.

After we’d had our fill (read children with blue lips) in the saltwater pool, we headed to the fresh water for a tour on the lazy river. My quest was to find the otters that were reputed to be frolicking there. The lazy river was so long, and lovely. The current wasn’t very strong, so I really had to work (even with the use of a floating noodle) to stay with the group at certain points, but the scenery was lovely. The river even wound through the aviary, and we still escaped the poop. No otters were discovered on our lazy river experience, but we were directed to a separate lagoon by a handsome lifeguard. I was disappointed to find that they too were kept behind glass. I had real fantasies of petting them and playing with them, but maybe they are more vicious than they look. The otters, not the lifeguards. I’m also not sure I can safely describe them as ‘frolicking’. They seemed a little listless to me, perhaps because they were sad that the humans were kept behind glass.

Lunch time was next. Again, the food was mostly fuel, certainly not our greatest culinary experience. The kids picked away, but didn’t eat much because the lure of the water was too great. After lunch, we returned to the salt water, but hit the opposite side of the pool. I really love snorkeling, and these man-made experiences are all I get because I have a bit of a phobia about swimming in the ocean. Please don’t tell my kids. We got to enjoy the stingray feeding, which had us surrounded by stingrays. They are so gentle and beautiful. The park staff told me about how difficult it is for them to keep people from hurting the animals in their excitement/fear and the marine park guilt started to creep in again. I saw at least two grown men new to the pool scream like old ladies at the sight of the first big ray, and honestly there wasn’t any preparation at all for guests about what to expect in the pool or how to behave. I found that a bit irresponsible. They did offer these fun laminated cards with samples of all of the marine life and their names which unfortunately we discovered as we were leaving the pool for the last time. It would have made for a fun family treasure hunt.

We planned to return to the lazy river, but learned that it was closed due to nearby lightning. A very ominous mass of cloud cover was rolling in fast, and I predicted a typhoon. We attempted the aviary instead, but the birds were all taking cover, so I insisted we leave and get changed. It was only an hour before the park close anyway. My childhood fear of thunderstorms kicked in suddenly. I’m not sure if it was because we were all soaking wet and surrounded by water, but I suddenly started to feel panicky about the approaching storm. All of the park staff were on high alert too, insisting people take cover. That didn’t help. I had to be reminded by the other parents to relax, which was embarrassing. I hate when I lose my cool. Fortunately we were quickly changed and enjoying the warm showers in the massive changing room. We ducked out of the park as quickly as we could (despite the staff telling us that we should remain where we were) and we avoided the rain altogether.

The kids were pooped. They made it clear that they were disappointed about leaving, but once they were in the air conditioned car, I could see how flaked they were. I think we all were pretty tired, but not in the “I’m too damned sticky and hot” way. Our end-of-day tired was from lots of physical activity, which naturally led us to find a souvenir shop paired with a Baskin Robbins. The girls took their time picking out their final souvenirs and finally settled on a small stuffy each, and some shark tooth necklaces. They were even thoughtful enough to pick a necklace for each of their best friends. Then we ice-creamed.

Back at the hotel, the adults were too tired and too water logged to consider more swimming, and the rain had finally arrived. We filled the jacuzzi tub in the master suite for the girls and let them have a soak while we ordered dinner to our room. Mama S and I set up the table on our screened patio, and we enjoyed our last supper in Florida watching the rain dance across the pond outside our room.

The next morning, we’d wake up early to get in a couple of hours in the pool before check out time, and then we’d head to the airport. Stay tuned for the final vacation wrap up.

Day Five: Dolphins are Horny Bastards

Day five was a leisurely wake up, breakfast, and then off again to SeaWorld.

Our first order of business was to return to the stingrays. The girls couldn’t stop talking about them. We coughed up our money for a tray of raw shrimp and lowered our hands into the pool so they could sweep the food off our hands with their lip flappy thinggies. In actuality, the stingrays swarmed whomever was feeding, so we all felt a bit more comfortable dropping the shrimp into the pool for them. I kept thinking “One of these critters killed the Crocodile Hunter!” Call me paranoid. I’m sure pregnant ladies aren’t supposed to be up to their armpits in raw shrimp stingray poop infested waters, so I gave myself a bath in the hand wash station and then we headed off to Dolphin Cove to watch the dolphins cavort before we got our seats for the dolphin show.

First we saw the dolphins splashing above water, then we headed to the underwater portion of their aquarium, and were treated to a different kind of dolphin show. The dolphins seemed very curious about the people watching them, so they kept swimming up to the glass to check everyone out. Then I started to hear tittering from the crowd gathered at the opposite end of the glass windows. I headed over only to realize that two of the dolphins were getting it on. I figured they were mating until I realized they were both male. (Take that all of you morons who think homosexuality is ‘unnatural’!) Once Bert and Ernie started going at it, all of the other dolphins seemed inspired, and soon it was like a scene from ancient Rome. With dolphins. There seemed to be no concern whatsoever for gender, and interestingly, none of the children seemed to comment about this display. It was the teenager and adult observers who seemed all aflutter about this. I guess to the kids it just seemed like play, which as far as I’m concerned, it was.

Daddy kept commenting about how sorry he felt for the dolphins. He likened their hump fest to bored young adults who were trapped growing up in the country with nothing to do but get drunk and high and fool around. I suggested he speak with the trainer on duty about the captivity practices at SeaWorld, and so he did.  I’m not sure she put him at ease though. She spoke about their breeding program and how they sometimes will sell breeding stock to other zoos or aquariums. SeaWorld sets the standard for care and treatment of marine life, but they breed some animals in captivity to keep people paying to see the animals do tricks. That money goes towards saving and usually re-releasing distressed and injured animals and to making more rich Americans. When asked why the dolphins were having a sex-fest she stated “Dolphins are very social creatures”. We decided they were the bonobos of the sea.

After leaving the company of our social friends, we went to grab seats for the dolphin show. The other dolphin show, which was decidedly less sexy. I think I enjoyed this show the most because it featured a team of aerial divers who did some really amazing tricks. I figure if the animals have to do tricks, the humans should also do strange and unnatural things with their bodies. All of the humans were dressed as exotic birds, and much to my surprise the show featured several flocks of parrots who were released from the back of the stadium, flying very close over our heads. My mother would have had a coronary. It was like a Hitchcockian paradise. At one point, a huge dark shadow passed over us and I felt a woosh of air over my head. A condor swooped from the back of our seats to the back of the stage. I’ve never seen a bird that large. It was terrifying.  After the show, some of the cast were on hand to pose for a photo. People were treating the actors like they were cardboard cutouts, but our girls both said “That was a great show!” without prompting from us. They make me so proud.

With time to spare before the next show, the fam decided to tackle the Atlantis themed log ride. Again, no pregnant ladies allowed. What to do but waddle into the gift shop which was icy with a/c. It also featured a small aquarium room with a glass floor. I settled myself on the cool floor with my back propped against the wall. It felt so good to be cold and sitting down, and I had a couple of other pregnant buddies to talk to. Watching the fish float by beneath me lulled me right to sleep until a toe against my knee woke me up. It was Mamma S reporting that near by lighting had temporarily closed down the ride, so she was sent to consult with me about whether they should wait, or catch our last opportunity to feed the dolphins. We’d come to the park to feed the dolphins, so the dolphins won. The kids were pretty disappointed about the ride, and I think were probably starting to get a bit tired. (Read cranky)

We chose well because there was a massive line up for the dolphin feeding. Fortunately, we were right next to the stingray pool so the kids were able to occupy themselves there until we’d moved further in the line. Finally we had paid our dolphin feeding fee and were about to face them head on. The trainer gave us some basic rules to follow and then they armed us with a tray of raw fish. The dolphins swam up very close and with one hand we could pop the fish in their mouths and with the other stroke them under their chins. I think I had expected to see some clever, ancient sparkle in their eyes, but they looked all dead on the inside. Again, I just ended up feeling kind of sad for them. They ate well every day, but they basically had to whore themselves and be fondled by strangers in order to do so. I scrubbed the raw fish and the shame away at the wash station.

By now the rain had started. We headed over to the next show, in an indoor theatre, featuring trained domestic pets. We were quite early so we stopped in a cafeteria for lunch, and surprisingly found some really healthy options. Daddy got the smoked turkey leg he’d been craving; another throw-back from my Renaissance Festival days.

After lunch we watched the pet show. It was easily the girls’ favourite. The set was pretty elaborate – it was a beach town for pets, and the animals were very amusing. There were lots of different dogs and cats, a rat, a pot bellied pig, and a skunk. They were all rescued from local animal shelters to be kept (probably in crates) at SeaWorld learning tricks to amuse humans. Hmmmm….

The pet show was our last SeaWorld attraction before we decided to call it a day. We let the girls play a “win every time” game, and they each got a stuffed stingray to take home. The girls really loved SeaWorld, and loved getting to see so many of these animals for the first time. H stated she wanted to be a marine biologist or trainer when she grows up. It inspired them in just the way a zoo or aquarium should. Two new converts to the “save the marine life” school of thought. This also led to a really interesting conversation about why we could go to SeaWorld, but why we’ll never spend our money at our close-to-home Marineland. Coincidentally, the Marineland animal abuse story broke just after we returned to Toronto. After SeaWorld we had a dinner reservation at the Benihana across the street from the hotel, and we had just enough time to go home and freshen up.

Benihana was highly entertaining for the girls. For those of you unfamiliar with the franchise, it’s a Japanese restaurant that operates teppanyaki style, which means the chef cooks everything right at your table. We shared our table with a couple on vacation with their little boy. He kept making race car sounds, but no actual words, through the entire meal. Ironically, A was super annoyed with all of the noise he was making. Our chef was very amusing, and great with the kids. The food however was a huge disappointment. I could barely choke down my over-cooked steak. Fortunately we filled up on appetizers, which were yummy, but the main event was blah. Again, high entertainment value for the children saves the day.

It was straight to bed for the munchkins at home, and some relaxation time for the grown ups. Day six would be our biggest day yet, and our final full day of vacation. We had reservations for Discovery Cove where we’d swim with otters, stingrays, tropical fish and sharks. I think day six was the day we’d all been waiting for.

Floriday Vaycay Day One

Moments before piling into the car to leave Toronto

It’s morning here, and we’re waking up slowly before padding off for breakfast and some pool side relaxation prior to braving day two of Magic Kingdom. The girls are engaged (i.e. fighting like cats) in a game of Math Dice.

We arrived very late on Tuesday night, and the kids were total troupers despite a full day of making our way from Toronto to Buffalo Airport. Our resort is beautiful, and we’ve got all of the pool we could ever ask for here (I think there are four on site). Today our mission is to discover the kid friendly pool with the pirate ship.

Yesterday we woke up at a leisurely pace, went for breakfast at the resort restaurants, and then piled in the car and headed to Magic Kingdom. The excitement level was through the roof (literally – I couldn’t believe how loud the car was) and both girls patiently weathered the series of gates and monorails and check ins that led into entering the park once and for all. Upon entry, A got the chance to get up close and personal with Princess Aurora (aka Sleeping Beauty). She was lovely and didn’t look sweaty or uncomfortable at all.

H & A take on the Magic Kingdom

Despite a fairly rainy morning (including a brush with a typhoon that left us all soaking wet and ducking for cover in a ‘tribal market’) we managed to knock off half the park at a pace that suited everyone, and the kids got to experience several of the rides that were our own childhood favourites. Highlights included Pirates of the Caribbean, and my favorite The Haunted Mansion. I finally got to ride It’s a Small World, after it being closed all three times I’d previously been to Magic Kingdom. In typical Schnooville fashion, I saw a Toronto colleague running for cover in the downpour. It seems I can’t travel without bumping into someone I know!

I was able to enjoy nearly every ride, except the roller coaster they rode in Frontierland. Riding with the kids was so much fun because they were totally amazed by everything. Instead of the coaster I took a cruise on a riverboat, waving at enthusiastic strangers and wearing my big floppy hat. There were no seats on the boat, and at one point we cruised past a canopied area filled with rocking chairs that seemed to mock me from the shore. The rain made the afternoon temperature quite awesome for a pregnant lady, and my feet held up for nearly six hours. We enjoyed several rests for snacks and water, and an ice cream break to bolster us towards the end of the day. If you can call that soft serve stuff ice cream.

My view from the riverboat

The infamous line ups that we read about really weren’t so bad. The worst was for the last ride we rode – the Peter Pan Adventure. It really was epic, and the ride was really not as impressive as some of the others that we only had to wait 15 mins for. The kids seemed to enjoy it though (H thought we were actually flying), which is the whole point, isn’t it? We headed back to the hotel, enjoyed a late supper, and then a very late family swim before bed time. Our pool is open until 1am!

Today we’ll return to Magic Kingdom in the late afternoon and visit the attractions we didn’t get to yesterday and probably stay for the fireworks. May the gods have mercy as we attempt to drag two exhausted kids home in the epic traffic after park closing. Maybe the Internet gods will show us a free place off site where we can enjoy them?

At dinner last night, six-year-old A spontaneously queried “Do you know how much we love you guys?” and we were treated to an impromptu dance party by the girls who cared not a whit about what other people on the patio might think of their exuberant display. The family vacation simply MUST be an annual tradition.

Third TryMester

Image Image

It’s astonishing how quickly seven months have passed. I’ve tried with all of my might to hang on to each moment of this pregnancy, and still the time is racing by. My belly is enormous, and I actually can’t believe there are two and a half more months of stretching left. How can I get any bigger than this?

In recent days, I’ve felt more ‘pregnant’ than ever before. My feet and ankles swell by the end of the day no matter how much water I drink, I get winded very quickly by simple things like walking or stair climbing, and on some days I feel each and every one of my extra 20 pounds with each movement I make. Oh, and now I waddle. My energy levels are only slightly better than first trimester, but I’m determined to stay fit, so yoga continues to be part of my daily routine. I’m still loving this, don’t get me wrong. I just think it’s remarkable how each stage affects my body.

Tomorrow we’re off on our first-ever family vacation all together. We’re taking on Orlando, in August. I believe that if we let the kids set the pace, and I wear comfortable shoes and drink lots of water, I will have fun, despite feeling a little bit like a manatee. My mantra for this trip is “Relax, be easy”. It will be an adventure in letting go and living in each moment. More and more each day I realize these are the two biggest lessons that I need to learn.

One of the many great things about children who have very limited exposure to television or the Internet is that telling them we’re going to Orlando, Florida is utterly meaningless. We held off about telling them that we’re visiting the Magic Kingdom until Friday night, and even then all they seem to care about is whether or not they will be able to go swimming. With such lowered expectations, I feel like we’re in complete control of how insane this trip will be (or not be). The plan right now is to enjoy a few theme park days peppered with days lounging at the resort pool. We’re trying out a Sheraton resort because of a sweet family hook up. See the photos above. Mamma S and I bought Daddy a few laps on a race track in a Ferrari too to celebrate our three year tri-anniversary. All her brilliant idea.

How wonderful to have a birthday this year where my focus has gladly shifted from self to this little being I am growing. All I wanted was to have my family close and be with the people I love. I feel like there is so much to celebrate in our lives right now, and I’m so lucky to have such an abundance of blessing. It hasn’t been easy for us trying to ‘reinvent the wheel’ and I’m sure we’ll have challenges ahead, but we’ve reached a place of greater understanding and it feels like I hoped it could feel, with each day getting better and better. I think this success has largely been due to setting boundaries and creating more structure, opening communication, and making therapy a priority for each of us. I can’t say enough about how wonderful therapy is.

Stay tuned for vacation updates. For now, I’ll leave you with my 2012 Birthday Wishes.

1. Continued good health

2. A safe and positive delivery of this baby

3. Good health for my family

4. Continued growth and deepening of love for my family

5. More visits from my parents and my brother, who I wish were more physically present in my life

6. Deeper patience and greater ability to manage stress

7. A true, clear sign that my artistic endeavors are going to yield a profit

8. The strength to handle being a mother as gracefully as I would like

9. More time with my dear friends and their families

10. The ability to break down my own issues to have deeper love and give better love

Pool side and mouse ears, here I come!

Popular Pregnancy

I’m reading every book that seems well rated on Amazon about pregnancy, child birth and infant care. My trick is to check out reader reviews and search for the titles through my local library, because I’m committed to only buying books that are worth keeping. Not all of these books are keepers, which once again proves my theory that just because something is popular, doesn’t mean it’s worth your time and energy. Based on my research thus far, here are some observations:

1. You will glow with pregnancy. I am not ‘glowing’. That’s MAC bronzer and Bare Esscentuals powder concealer. Also dark brown Bare Esscentuals mascara. If I don’t apply these products over a light layer of Aveeno moisturizer my eyelashes are so fair that they vanish completely, my eyes are ringed like a raccoon, and my skin is see-through like a character in a teen lit series. Pregnancy has not enhanced my natural beauty one whit. My mother blessed me with good skin, however that skin now looks like a road map because my naturally pale complexion is the perfect canvas for my newly-engorged vascular system.

2. Your breasts may ‘slightly’ change in early pregnancy. Maybe this is true for some people, but my perky perfectly round pregnant lady tatas have me finally understanding the breast augmentation phenomenon. Sure they ache some days like I’ve been slashed with paper, and true my aureola now resemble slices of salami but I’m rocking every low cut shirt and push up bra in my wardrobe like never before. My tits are so awesome that even my kids can’t keep their hands off them. It’s funny that I get a rack like this at the same time I get a belly like Santa. By funny, I mean that I’m going to breast feed until this kid is six so I can enjoy this phenomenon well after my uterus shrinks.

3. The ‘Girlfriend’s Guide’ books are the best. Don’t even bother with these, unless you like condescending, super-negative, man-hating cranky bitches for your girlfriends. I’ve tried now to read two books in this series, and both got me only ten pages in before I tossed them across the room with a groan and an eye roll. With such sage advice as “you’ll never want to have sex again” I think I’ll leave it up to the real life awesome women I know to guide me in the right direction. When I feel like listening to other people.

4. You only need 300 additional calories until your third trimester. This cannot be possible. Unless they mean 300 additional calories per meal.

5. Carrying around snacks in your purse is a good idea. Carrying around snacks is one hundred percent necessary unless you want to end up a single parent. My hunger comes on so fast now, and is so intense that if I don’t eat something immediately terrible things happen. Like me shrieking at N “I can’t think! I don’t know what I want! Just pull over at this Loblaws!!” I then proceeded to stumble out of the car, into the grocery store in search of a ready-made sandwich they didn’t have. I got confused, and disoriented and began pacing the aisles in desperation, only to be rescued by N who snatched me and a bag of Smart Food up and that was the end of that. I liken it to how Bruce Banner must feel just before he transforms into The Hulk. “You wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry…”

6. Pregnancy may affect your digestive tract. “To poo or not to poo” has become my tortured soliloquy each and every day. There is no rhyme or reason to what helps and what hinders my digestive process. It seems to be up to the fickle hand of the gods. And so I have decided it is nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fiber intake than to take arms against my C(olon) of trouble and by laxative end this misery. Also my GP basically told me I could poo out my baby by engaging the same muscle response used in labour with over-stimulation by laxatives. To which I shot N my best “I told you so” look. “Better to be constipated” my doc said. Yeah, no kidding.

7. You may notice as you enter your second trimester that you are starting to show a little. I admit that I am not exactly a lean, mean, fighting machine but that does not explain why I look six months pregnant at this 14 week marker. I now detest pants. None of my normal pants fit anyway, and my uterus has not yet climbed high enough out of my pelvis to make any kind of waist band comfortable. Maternity pants are a bit more comfortable, but my real happy place will be when I can switch to dresses once and for all. Warm up already, please! The good news is that I can still see my feet.

8. You may feel a little bit emotional.  I don’t feel a little bit emotional, I feel like Sybil. One day I’m calm and serene and feel like the world is a beautiful place, the next I am filled with panic and despair and I cry at the drop of a hat. Actually, I cry either way. About everything. It’s fun.

9. You may have more vivid dreams. I’ve gone from not ever being able to remember my dreams to remembering at least one dream each night in great detail. Highlights include sexy times with Keanu Reeves (this was a surprise to me) to a work colleague licking my ear, to being the old lady in an HBO biker gang. Perhaps I need to watch less TV?

10. You can tell people not to touch your belly.  Oddly, this doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. Perhaps it’s because most of the people who have reached out to give me a pat aren’t strangers. I think the real reason why I’m largely okay with this is because whenever I do get a tummy touch it’s delivered with such wonderment and joy that it’s actually sweet, and I rather feel like people are bestowing a blessing or trying to get close to the “baby magic”. It’s especially cute when delivered by my man props or burly crew men. Nobody has ever attempted this when I’m hungry though. Perhaps that would be another story altogether.

In short, I’m loving the physical experience of pregnancy and the hilarious an amazing changes therein. No, truly I am, there is no sarcasm here whatsoever. It’s an amazing ride. If this continues to go as well as it has, and I am not totally traumatized by giving birth, I may want another shot at being preggers. Or maybe we’ll just get a puppy.

I’m reading a great book right now by Penelope Leach called the Essential First Year. The photos are beautiful, the advice sound and current, intuitive really from my perspective and it’s written joyfully and positively. This will be an addition to our home library for sure, and if you’d like a copy you can pick it up here.