My dreams have become so vivid and when I wake I can remember them in such great detail. I think this is another pregnancy side effect. Last night I had a dream where I woke up in my family home in Hamilton with a baby boy at my breast. The feeling was so peaceful and serene, and he was beautiful but I quickly noticed that he had four teeth in his little head. As the dream unfolded, it became clear that I had just given birth to the little creature the night before, but to my dismay, I had no recollection of the event. My mother and paternal grandmother (who also raised me) were at hand in the dream, and I spoke to my father at one point too, to introduce him to his grandson.
Here’s what I took away from that particular dream:
The experience of childbirth itself is not something I’m afraid of. I was quite devastated to have missed the whole experience, or to not be able to remember it. Everyone around me in the dream seemed to find it odd that I wasn’t happy to have blocked out the “difficult part” but the whole thing was very distressing for me.
I also felt some panic in the dream when I realized that I couldn’t remember the six months of pregnancy leading up to delivery. It was as though I had fallen asleep in the present and woken up within the dream somewhere in the future. I think this served to point out how I should really cherish each moment, and each day of this experience.
I’m leaning towards wanting a boy. There are a lot of women in my house, so this makes sense. I’ll be happy with whatever healthy baby we get, but it would be pretty special to add a little man to our brood. I really hope he’s not born with teeth though. Yikes.
I’m still wondering what the significance of my paternal grandmother was. We had a rather difficult relationship. Maybe in the dream, I was finally feeling her pride in something I’d accomplished? If I had to choose either of my grandmothers to have on hand during birth, I think it would easily be my maternal grandmother who birthed thirteen children. To be fair though, my paternal grandmother wouldn’t let me get away with any whiny, fearful nonsense so maybe that would be useful. Since neither of them are still living, there’s a good chance they’ll both be on hand for the big event.
We took our first belly photo today, as you can see. At only twelve weeks (three months) there is absolutely no hiding that I’m preggers, no matter what I wear. I love it. I’ve been toying with whether or not to share my ultrasound pics here, but I really don’t think that anyone needs to see my guts. Plus, it’s nice to give the little fig some privacy until he’s ready to make her debut. Take my word for it, it’s a good-looking blob.
Taking myself for a big walk in an hour to meet the ravishing Allison Villa for lunch. I’m relying on all of my mommy friends to help me make good decisions about stuff. I mean that literally! What an enterprise baby-making is. I can’t believe how much gear they try to sell you. Surely to god nobody needs all of that crap.
My energy level is back up again. It was loooowww at the start of the week and I really had a hell of a day on Tuesday. So funny how different I feel from one day to the next.
Tonight we parent attend a guest lecture by Gordon Neufeld on raising your alpha child. Look forward to details tomorrow.