Insemination Day


The Amazing Race

8:53 am

Not a single soul in our house slept well last night. Little A got up twice to complain about a scratchy throat, H had tummy pains and had a dream that she barfed up an elephant, N was tossing and turning and Mama S and I were the same. Only three out of the five of us know about the big day in store today.

I keep watching the clock. It’s like the world is in slow motion.

The weather turned from rain, to freezing rain, to snow in less than an hour this morning. I truly love sitting at the dining room table working a way and watching the snow fall outside. I love snow, and I love winter. The whole thing right now is having a very peaceful affect.

I feel calm, but nervous/excited. I realized last night that if our first attempt at insemination is successful, then I won’t be able to do the Les Coquettes Halloween show, which is our biggest show, and which is a concept that I’m writing based on a play I was developing years ago. The plus side is that I have lots of time to prepare, and hopefully pregnancy will bring tremendous creative energy. I really have to fight to not put the cart before the horse.

Today will inevitably be a light work day. I can’t imagine focusing on work tasks after our appointment, really. In the shower this morning, I had this almost ritualistic sense of purification as I cleansed and moisturized. It felt important to take that time to honor my body and reflect on how lucky I am to be so healthy. There is a very strong spiritual sense that is coming over me right now, and I love this feeling. I’d like to carry it forward beyond this experience.

Each time I visit the clinic and see the various women who are there, all for the same goal, I feel really lucky that our path has been so straightforward thus far. Please universe, let us continue to run smoothly.

1:58 pm

We’ve been home for a couple of hours now. It’s pretty clear that no work will be done today.

The procedure went well and with the exception of some very slight cramping, was relatively painless. We had my favourite nurse, Maddie, who has an amazing bedside manner and a killer sense of humor. The whole thing was over in the blink of an eye. N and I made out in the procedure room after, to celebrate.

Mama S wasn’t there. I was warned by my GP long ago to keep my relationship on the DL in case anyone refused to treat us. This seems crazy to me, but it was scary enough that we all agreed it wasn’t worth the risk. If all goes well Mama S can be my date for additional medical appointments. She and N can trade off.

I feel hopeful, and crampy on my left side. I think this is probably all in my head because I know that to be the side that I’m ovulating from.

Now, we wait…

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