This is the first New Year’s Day I haven’t had a hangover in, well, I just don’t know. It’s kind of a nice feeling.
Last night was a quiet dinner in a Yorkville Chinese restaurant (delicious) and a movie – Black Swan (I was totally blown away. Natalie Portman was unbelievable and the story was spectacularly dark.) We toasted the New Year quietly, at home, missing a third of ourselves and feeling more than a little wistful. My life is getting back on track, and I am grateful.
Today I slept soundly until 11 am, which is unlike me. We got ourselves up and went for brunch with some friends, and then returned home for some household busy work and some reading and writing. Getting my drink on just a little today, with nowhere to go and snug in my pajamas. I’ve taken a break from the Caesars and am transitioning into evening with Kir Royale.
I’m thinking about the freedom and strength I felt in Paris. My little vacation felt like a lifetime ago. The start of my life’s great love also felt like Paris. Bold, beautiful, true to my soul, and exciting. Anything was possible. I want this feeling for 2011. I don’t want to feel afraid and unclear. That part is over. It’s time to settle into something deeper, truer, richer than ever before. Richer than we’d even imagined.
I’ve been working at a list of things to focus on for this year. Here’s what I’ve got so far:
Stability and a deeper understand of the love I have.
Improved communication skills.
A deeper understanding of what security means to me, and how I have power to build it.
Stronger, deeper relationships with the people who are most important.
Greater physical health and strength.
A meditation practice.
A deeper understanding of my own emotional responses.
A greater exploration of my writing. I think I’ll start a daily writing practice.
Diminished need for approval.
A daily practice articulating gratitude.
Learning to sit with difficult emotion and understanding it deeply before expressing it.
Deeper focus on the positive.
A greater demonstration of the love I feel.
Increased creative time with my little girls.
A driver’s license.