This year, birthday weekend was a lot less lonely.
In fact, I was moved to tears several times throughout the day as the text messages, phone calls, emails, and Facebook posts poured in.
I know a lot of incredible people, and as a person who believes that the company we keep is a reflection of our character, I was humbled over and over.
I was kidnapped by my friends and lavished with love all weekend long. It was spectacular.
Each year, I am so very grateful to have made it to another birthday. I was amazed this year to consider how far I’ve come over the course of twelve months. I’m proud of my work, which I’m lucky to say that I love. I’m able to take care of myself, in all ways. Every day I’m learning more about who I am, and the things I want. I feel so very strong, even in the moments when I’m lonely. This feeling of inner quiet and strength would be impossible if I was unable to accept the love of the people who are nearest and dearest to me.
My goals in this coming year are at the forefront of my mind. What do I want? What do I really want? I’m beginning to wonder if the story I have told myself for so long is in fact what my heart really desires.
I’m falling in love with this woman. She is perfectly comfortable in the softly descending twylight settling over her attic apartment as she sits at an antique desk typing away. She can be alone, but realizes that she is never really alone. I love this woman, who is now my truest, most sincere friend. She knows always what is good for me, even though sometimes I choose to ignore her. When I look into her eyes, I can see that she is ancient and filled with wisdom I can only understand in fleeting moments. On my birthday, I pledged myself to her. I promised to heed her more often, and love her more attentively. She is the love I have sought for so long, and only through loving her, and wholly embracing her will I ever be complete.
I have all the love I need in the world.
Thank you to all of you who have added to the pile, and have helped to build this tower. Each day, I whisper your name in my heart.