A Fortress to Call My Home




Tonight was dancing to our favourite live band at the Orbit Room.

It was too many drinks, and all of my girlfriends wanting to be so close.

It was dancing so much to such great music, and not caring who was watching.

It was tall, sexy, bald Patrick – a stranger – dancing with the skinny girl with dreadlocks first, and then finding me when he realized she wasn’t interested.

It was me, feeling shitty about fifteen extra pounds.

It was mostly fantastic music,

And Enrique with his ear flaps and strong eyebrows. Shorter than the other boys. Not there for picking up…

Talking to me first. Dancing with me, and then closing the bar with the skinny girl. With the dreadlocks.

It was me, mohair coat from France on before the lights could come up, but not before that bongo player who took my number in the summer walked right past me to the bar.

It was me in a cab, alone, so glad to be going home to Arthur.

It was this last song, which is about as innocent and mindless, and even-frat-boys-will-love -this as a song can get, which despite my happy dancing brought tears to my eyes. Maybe someday, I can close this bar with someone who also finds these lyrics touching and significant. Maybe not. I most certainly know that my cleanse is very timely indeed. I’m starting to feel too much, when I should feel nothing at all:

I wanna love you and treat you right;

I wanna love you every day and every night:

We’ll be together with a roof right over our heads;

We’ll share the shelter of my single bed;

We’ll share the same room, yeah! – for Jah provide the bread.

Is this love – is this love – is this love –

Is this love that I’m feelin’?

Is this love – is this love – is this love –

Is this love that I’m feelin’?

I wanna know – wanna know – wanna know now!

I got to know – got to know – got to know now!

I – I’m willing and able,

So I throw my cards on your table!

I wanna love you – I wanna love and treat – love and treat you right;

I wanna love you every day and every night:

We’ll be together, yeah! – with a roof right over our heads;

We’ll share the shelter, yeah, oh now! – of my single bed;

We’ll share the same room, yeah! – for Jah provide the bread.

Is this love – is this love – is this love –

Is this love that I’m feelin’?

Is this love – is this love – is this love –

Is this love that I’m feelin’?

Wo-o-o-oah! Oh yes, I know; yes, I know – yes, I know now!

Yes, I know; yes, I know – yes, I know now!

I – I’m willing and able,

So I throw my cards on your table!

See: I wanna love ya, I wanna love and treat ya –

love and treat ya right.

I wanna love you every day and every night:

We’ll be together, with a roof right over our heads!

We’ll share the shelter of my single bed;

We’ll share the same room, yeah! Jah provide the bread.

We’ll share the shelter of my single bed

Goodnight Toronto.

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