Emotional Availability is Sexy


I had a great evening with a male friend this weekend who I have known for just over a year. He’s smart, funny, creative, talented, enjoys cooking, art, music, has a great sense of family, and is just the right age. We laugh our heads off together, and there is seldom ever a lull in conversation.

Of course there’s a but. He has a girlfriend, and it is absolutely not my style to interfere in other people’s relationships. Having been on the receiving end of such unpleasantness, I could never do that to someone else, but I question how happy he is.

Early in the summer, we had a drunken moment after a dinner party I hosted where it was suddenly really obvious that if I wanted something to happen it could have. He didn’t make a move, or say anything to suggest it, but I could feel it like electricity, and see it in his eyes. I attacked that head on, not with the lip-lock I was thinking about, but with a direct conversation about all of the reasons why we should NOT do any such thing. He was at first shocked by my direct approach, but then I think grateful for it. I made it really clear that I really liked him, but it was important for him to make a decision about his relationship before starting anything else.

He’s still in the relationship, so I suppose that was a loud and clear response.

We’ve managed to maintain a friendship, and no lines have since been crossed, but there is always a moment of awkward goodbye when we spend time together alone.

He has so many of the great qualities that I would like to find in a partner, but in such an instance, I would always be looking over my shoulder wondering when he might begin to develop feelings for one of his female friends, and I have made a promise to myself to never again be in a relationship that breeds jealousy.

I never remember my dreams when I wake up, but early this morning I had a very vivid dream where my back molars were very loose, and when I would wiggle them with my tongue they would fall out either whole or in pieces.

One of the first things I did this morning was consult the internet about such a dream:

Psychological Meaning:
Dreaming of teeth falling out may represent insecurity. These dreams often occur at a time of transition between one phase of life and another. When we lost our milk teeth, we also gradually lost our childhood innocence. Loosing your teeth therefore show that today you have similar feelings of uncertainty and self-consciousness as you did in childhood. The dream could also highlight your worries about getting older or your sexual attractiveness.